What is past is prologue
by JLCH
Summary: In one unexpected moment Gregory House finds that second chances do exist and everything he has ever wanted is right in front of him. I would not actually want it to end this way but I was angry over the S7 finale! Enjoy.


_**A/N:**__ This one-shot does not reflect how I would want the series finale to go, I was just pissed off at how TPTB ended Season 7 and so I wrote it out of anger. If it were up to me, House would definitely have had his share of struggles but through it all he would have found a way to cope and survive without taking the easy way out and going back on Vicodin and engaging in risky and ridiculous behavior. Yes he would still be a misanthropic, pain-in-the-ass SOB but he would have fought like hell for what he wanted and still would have a fighting chance at some kind of life._

_I've been watching [H]ouse since day one and not only did I enjoy the POTW stories but I thoroughly enjoyed the interactions between the characters, particularly House, Cuddy, and Wilson. Hugh, Lisa and Bob portray their roles so brilliantly, making it seem as if the roles came second-nature to them. While the show revolves around Gregory House, his relationships are an important part of who he is and they deserved better treatment and better storylines in both Seasons 6 and 7. Cuddy should have been the strong presence she was prior to those seasons and she deserved more screen time as did Wilson. The 20-year dysfunctional relationship between House and Cuddy which eventually morphed into a full-blown romance could have successfully integrated into the remainder of the series and worked. The relationship could have been volatile, dysfunctional, and loving all at the same time and instead of it being so prominent in every episode it could have been nestled nicely in the background, giving more attention to the POTW stories as in earlier seasons. Sadly, Shore treated the relationship it as just another arc with a beginning, middle, and end. The long and complicated history between the two characters and their interactions over the years was, in one season, simply tossed aside and disregarded as if it never existed. Season 7 essentially destroyed the House and Cuddy dynamic and brought to an end a one-of-a-kind onscreen chemistry between two amazing characters. Their banter, antics and power struggles kept us on our toes making us laugh, cry and yell at our television screens. Not only that, but Season 7 also destroyed the greatness that was House and Wilson. Gone are the old days of banter, jokes and games of one-upmanship between them. The triumvirate of House-Cuddy-Wilson was a large part of the show's success and it will be missed. Season 7 marks the end of an era. I don't know what will happen in Season 8 but without Lisa and given the events of the Season 7 finale, I cannot even imagine how this show can be redeemed. Hugh and Bob will still be brilliant but without Lisa, the dynamic is gone. It is a shame because [H]ouse is one of the most amazing television series ever aired._

**Disclaimer:** I don't own [H]ouse M.D. but if I did I wouldn't have had to write this fic!

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><p>Gregory House woke up in a hospital bed in Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Instinct and habit caused him to automatically reach down and rub his right leg. At that moment he realized something was different. Everything below his mid-thigh was gone. Suddenly he was very confused and in a slight state of shock. Amputated. His leg. Gone forever. He tried to remember what happened to him but he was still very groggy and confused. He thought to himself: <em>What have I done? Did I nearly OD? Did I screw up the surgery I performed on myself? Am I hallucinating? Where is Wilson? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?<em>

Before he had the chance to start yelling for a nurse, Lisa Cuddy walked into House's room. He was taken back for a moment at the sight of her because she seemed a bit different. The last time he'd seen her she looked stressed and very tired. Now she almost seemed more energetic, even younger. Her hair looked different, it was longer and pulled back. She had a slight smile on her face.

"Well, well, well, it's about time you woke up." she said.

House, confused and still not quite awake looked at her with angry piercing blue eyes and yelled at the top of his lungs, "What the HELL happened to my leg?"

Cuddy's smile disappeared quickly and she looked down towards the floor pursing her lips together. This was the moment she'd dreaded in the last few weeks since his surgery and medically induced coma. She had gone through it in her mind again and again. How would she tell him? Would he hate her? Would they ever be as close as they once were? She loved Greg House for nearly twenty years, ever since their college days and even while he was with Stacy, the two of them seemed to share the same friendship and chemistry they had back in college. To lose him in her life over this would be devastating.

Cuddy took a seat next to House's bed, inhaled deeply then exhaled slowly. She closed her eyes and silently prayed for guidance before opening them, looking directly at him and relaying the events which led them to this moment. The look of complete confusion on House's face was an indication to Cuddy that he did not remember much about what happened prior to his surgery.

"House," she moved closer to him and lay her hand on his arm. "After the infarction, we only had three options. Put you in a medically-induced coma to avoid the worst of the pain, amputate the leg below the mid-thigh, or remove the damaged part of the muscle. I warned you that once you came out of the coma, you would still be in severe unbearable pain but you were willing to take that chance because you didn't want to lose your leg. After I sedated you, Stacy told me she wanted me to remove the damaged thigh muscle. While it was my duty as your doctor to put all of the options on the table, I advised her against doing this. I warned her you would be in chronic pain for the rest of your life. You and I both know you would never have the same quality of life you had before the infarction. She argued and threatened to remove me as your attending. She refused to listen to me and finally I just gave up fighting her on it."

House looked at Cuddy with a confused expression but stayed silent. Instinctively he moved his hand back to his right thigh. Cuddy took a deep breath. Her hands trembling, it was now or never. She continued, "After we got you into the OR I noticed Stacy was not on the observation deck and it was at that moment I knew what I had to do. I told the surgeon we would be removing your leg. He asked me if I was sure and I told him yes. I still can't believe I did it. You used to tease me about how I was so concerned about following the rules and ethics. But this was you; it was not just any patient. You have been my friend for so long and I care about you. Stacy couldn't possibly realize this but I knew what would happen if we removed that muscle. I broke all kinds of rules here, violated the wishes of your medical proxy and did a procedure I was not authorized to do."

Not waiting for a reaction, Cuddy took another deep breath and just kept going, as if she had to get out some deep dark secret she had been holding in that desperately needed to come out, "Dammit House, I knew deep down that if you were in pain for the rest of your life you would have to take painkillers which might affect your ability to function. I also worried the pain might throw you into depression and I just couldn't handle the thought of you being in pain and misery for the rest of your life. I thought at least if you were out of pain, you could be fitted for a prosthetic leg and resume most, if not all, of the activities you once enjoyed. I know what I did was ethically wrong but I wanted you to have your life back. I convinced myself you would have done the same for me."

House looked at Cuddy with absolutely no expression. Usually she could read him like a book. She tried to find signs of any emotion. But she saw nothing. Tears formed in her eyes.

"Greg, I am so sorry. I did this to you, I made this decision all on my own. I haven't slept through the night since this happened because I have been so worried about what I would tell you when you woke up. I thought I was doing the right thing. Please forgive me. Please say something. Yell at me, scream, threaten to sue me. Tell me you hate me. Just say something."

House said nothing. He laid his head back on his pillow, closed his eyes and allowed himself to asborb what Cuddy had just told him. And as he did this, Cuddy sat next to him in the chair, tapping her foot nervously waiting for some kind of response. She expected the full brunt of his anger but instead he continued to lay there silently thinking to himself...

_He was never Head of Diagnostics at Princeton-Plainsboro. _  
><em>There was no Vicodin addiction. <em>  
><em>He never walked with a cane. <em>  
><em>Cuddy did not have to constantly defend him to the Board.<em>  
><em>He did not cost the hospital millions in lawsuits.<em>  
><em>He was never shot by the husband of a former patient. <em>  
><em>He never received Ketamine treatment and regained function of his leg only to lose it again. <em>  
><em>The hospital never lost a $100,000,000 donation because of him.<em>  
><em>He never had an affair with Stacy after saving her husband's life.<em>  
><em>Tritter never arrested and harassed him.<em>  
><em>He never nearly overdosed on Vicodin at Christmas. <em>  
><em>He did not nearly cost Wilson his medical license.<em>  
><em>Cuddy never perjured herself on the stand.<br>Cuddy never went through IVF and suffered a miscarriage.  
>He never told Cuddy she would suck as a mother.<br>He never faked brain cancer just to get into a clinical trial for an implant to reduce his pain. _  
><em>He never bared his soul to a rape victim about his childhood abuse.<em>  
><em>He never stuck a knife into an electrical outlet.<em>  
><em>He never begged Cuddy for shots of morphine to ease his pain. <em>  
><em>There were no hookers as distractions. <em>  
><em>He never holed himself up in his apartment for days at a time in misery drinking scotch.<em>  
><em>He never stayed up all hours of the night playing the piano to ease his loneliness. <em>  
><em>He never fired his team and hired new fellows. <em>  
><em>There was no bush crash. No deep brain stimulation. No heart attack.<em>  
><em>There was no Amber. No Kutner.<em>  
><em>Wilson never left.<em>  
><em>His father had not died.<br>He never kissed Cuddy in her house after the adoption fell through.  
>Cuddy never adopted a little girl named Rachel.<em>  
><em>He never went on methadone in place of Vicodin to help his leg pain.<em>  
><em>He was never held hostage by a madman.<em>  
><em>He never suffered hallucinations. <em>  
><em>He did not nearly kill Chase at his bachelor party.<em>  
><em>He never went to a place called Mayfield and met with a doctor named Nolan.<em>  
><em>There was no Lydia. <em>  
><em>He never caused a young man to jump off the balcony of a parking garage. <em>  
><em>Lucas never existed. <em>  
><em>There was no Hannah and no crane collapse in downtown Trenton.<em>  
><em>He and Cuddy did not engage in a romantic relationship only to eventually break-up.<em>  
><em>He did not lose a patient to what he thought was smallpox and he didn't nearly die from it.<em>  
><em>Cuddy was never briefly married twenty years ago. <em>  
><em>Cuddy was never in the hospital with a kidney tumor.<em>  
><em>The seemingly endless tears in the middle of the night over losing Cuddy in his life never fell.<em>  
><em>He never jumped off a hotel balcony into a pool.<em>  
><em>He never lashed out in anger and grief at Cuddy by doing mean things to make her life miserable.<em>  
><em>He did not marry a Russian girl who needed a green card in exchange for being his maid. <em>  
><em>He never stole an experimental drug using it to heal his thigh muscle.<em>  
><em>He never tried to perform surgery on his leg to remove deadly tumors.<em>  
><em>He never shoved Cuddy against the wall nor had he crashed his car into her home.<em>  
><em>He never caused Cuddy and Wilson many painful, sleepless nights worrying about him. <em>  
><em>He never felt so alone and miserable he wished he were dead.<em>

As House processed all of this in his mind, he suddenly asked_,_"Where's Stacy?"

Cuddy, obviously worried about how he would take this next news, quietly replied, "She's gone Greg. I'm so sorry. She packed her things and left shortly after you came out of surgery. Stacy just couldn't take it anymore, she was a wreck. She was angry at you for not diagnosing the infarction sooner, she was pissed at me for going against her wishes. She didn't know when you would wake up and when you did she knew you'd be angry as hell over what happened and blame her. She was convinced that after the surgery, you wouldn't be the same man you were before the surgery and that you would never get over it. I tried to talk her out of it but she told me that she just couldn't do it and that at least you wouldn't be alone, you'd have me and Wilson to help you get through it."

House pondered this for a moment and to her surprise his face relaxed, his eyes softened and a smile came over his face. He seemed surprisingly content. House gazed at Cuddy with a sense of peace in his eyes and on his face. He reached for her hand, intertwined her fingers within his own, brought her hand to his lips and kissed it all while looking directly at her with blazing clear blue eyes.

"Lisa, thank you for saving me," he said softly to her.

And by that he meant in more ways than one.

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><p>What did you think?<p> 


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